When I was a baby lawyer I had the most amazing mentor. Make no mistake that he threw me into the deep end of complex criminal litigation, but he always had an open door and he always gave the best advice. One of the most valuable things he ever said to me (so valuable, in fact, that 24 years later I STILL quote it on a weekly basis) was, "Good, bad, or indifferent, you can never have too many facts. Ignorance is not bliss." This is likely not a direct quote. He was probably much more eloquent in his wording, but you get the gist.
It's easy to be afraid of the facts. It's easy to be lazy and bury your head in the sand. When you or your spouse are contemplating a divorce, it's so much easier to pretend like your world is not crumbling. The hardest part of contemplating a divorce is getting all of the facts.
Divorce is hard. It is complicated and it is almost impossible to get your head around what the facts are and what a divorce will look like. Your daily life is full of work and life and child rearing and sleeping on the couch... Who has time to figure out what a divorce would look like in your busy world?
When it's all so overwhelming, when it feels like your head is swirling and when you're tired of sleeping on the couch, that's the time to schedule a consultation with an attorney. You need to pick an attorney who will give it to you straight and will explain the process. You need to pick an attorney who will help you visualize this bombshell. You need to pick an attorney who will give you real facts about what you can expect, even if those facts are good, bad, or indifferent. This is necessary for you to make your way forward.
In the end, you WILL move forward whether you like it or not. Having the facts about what that process looks like and what you can likely expect is critical to making the right decisions for you and your family.
I happen to know a good lawyer who will help.